5 Lessons Learned From a Silent Retreat
I booked a silent retreat titled Harvesting Gratitude months ago and last Wednesday the time arrived for me to travel to "Well of Mercy," in Hamptonville, NC, where I would dive into a new experience.
I signed up for a two-day adventure that would push me well out of my comfort zone, as I entered 43 hours of silence---easy for some---difficult for this curious extrovert.
The purpose of a silent retreat is to be receptive to the signals that life, God, the universe, or your deep self will give you.
There was apprehension as I live in a world with constant chatter, and noise everywhere. I realized that rarely am I in silence, mostly because I like loads of sound. I had to ask myself, “Why do I run from silence?”
I arrived early to take advantage of a one-on-one session called Spiritual Direction. This was the first step in focusing my intention for the retreat. I was encouraged not to force the outcome and to relax into whatever would be revealed to me.
Before meeting my retreat mates I decided to take a hike, alone through the woods. I had a mental dialogue going on in my head that was spinning out of control and included:
I shouldn’t take time off of work in November.
This is selfish.
There are bears in the woods and they need to eat-A LOT before hibernation.
What if I talked and get sent home early for disruptive behavior.
I think I am hearing dueling banjos in the distance (if you are young that is a reference from the movie Deliverance).
That neurotic voice in my head went to war with me and I shut it down by addressing each thought:
I have approved vacation time—will I get fired for taking time I earned?
Who determines selfish, I call this self-care, self-improvement or a challenge that pushes out of my comfort zone.
Bears have slowed down and if indeed I look like the Last Supper then they better be ready for a fight.
Really... I am pretty much a rule follower, the student who arrives 15 minutes early with homework in hand,
I doubt this would be my moment for detention or suspension—no matter how tough.
Stop--dueling banjos are surely played in a different part of the NC mountains and not on this sacred ground.
So, I battled the brain, enjoyed my hike and set out to meet my eleven silent friends (only seven made it to the finale and walked the ceremonial labyrinth).
We are relationship building people—it was weird as heck to be amongst people and not know anything about the person eating next to me or sharing a bench.
I was surprised at how easy it was to go into silence. For weeks I anticipated and planned in my head how it would all go down. I thought when I shut down verbal language then my creative brain would go on overtime and send me all kinds of fabulous thoughts to ponder. What happened was I shut down language and my brain came to a screeching halt. I felt as though my life had been traveling on a super highway about 80 miles per hour and now I was traveling a gravel road barely hitting 20.
I spent the time reading, writing, thinking, remembering strange things like the names of boyfriends from elementary school-college.
A few things I pondered during my hikes:
Nature and life are ever-changing.
Autumn brings dying of leaves and weakening of the trees and branches but there is still an abundance of beauty.
Everything has a time and a season.
Lessons learned during silence:
Silence really is golden.
There is never total silence if you listen for a beautiful symphony of sound that surrounds us including: wind blowing, leaves rustling, deer scampering, an occasional fly and maybe a babbling brook.
A deeper practice of gratitude will always lead to JOY
On Friday morning I was sitting in my room, pondering my time in silence and a song from my days attending church played in my head It is Well in My Soul.
That was my big take away—I felt calm in my soul. I was rested and renewed. I was ready to face the world and hopefully go forth and do good things.
I am well in my soul.
I am ready to slow the pace and take more time to enjoy and notice all that is around me.
And, next year look out—--I will be ready to up my game and head into a five day silent retreat.
You might not want to go to the woods and convene with nature but you might be ready to talk about what can lead you to feel well in your soul.
If you are currently going 80 mph and afraid to slow down—we can chat about how you might be able to carve out time to battle your brain and stop the chatter.
If you want to chat--click here for your free 45 minute session--and I can share all that I learned.
Joyfully,
Nancy
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